Who knew destiny would take me to writing such a post, where I'd be defending woman empowerment and feminism. Because I always understood all beings are equal, irrespective of their gender, and no society could reverse that fact. Because I was brought up being taught that there's nothing as a girl child and we are all children. I'd hear my father introduce me to everyone- "this is my elder son"; and there- he just empowered me more. I studied in the same school as my brother and would get better treatment at home and school for being more well-behaved than him. I never went to a cricket coaching class, unlike my brother, just because I wasn't interested. And yes, I did get my music classes when parents realized I had a penchant for it. And for all good, I only started cooking when I felt the need to, just like my other classmates in college outside the country. I was never treated differently for being of the other gender. In fact, I was treated more specially because of what I deserved, and now I think may be my inner circle never wanted to get the gender thing in my head. Well I did know we are anatomically different and men couldn't deliver babies, but I had never rosen to the facts that still exist in a namesake modern, but highly patriarchal, and hence hypocrite, society.
I now see these activists have a point. I now realize the plight of women who are the ones facilitating their family's lives and still long for respect and attention. Not underestimating the financial support men provide, but all of us know what equality means. I now also see a point with female genocide, as I have come to believe that everything happens for a good reason. It might be a good idea to be dead before you could start dying while living. To pause misguiding you, I haven't even been closely associated with any of those plights, but I'm just more aware now of the mountains after having trekked smaller rocks. I've recently been introduced to variations of the same society who call themselves modern, only because they have educated their kids, but still follow old school. They might have educated their girls too, but hell does that make a difference in the duties and behaviors these girls are expected of! So while they might still not expect their daughter in-laws to mask their faces (pun intended), they definitely want them to respect patriarchy, shut their voices in front of elder men (and women), take permission for mundane things which they'd have otherwise been free to do, revolutionize the way they can possibly treat their new "family" (so as to earn the highest podium in their frog wells), forget they ever belonged to another family and persist on all the humiliation to their own family, and overall simply tolerate all nuisance because they are "elders".
That brings us to another point of respecting elders. There might have been a good reason for introducing such a value. Elders might have held more knowledge and experience of a similar scheme of things that you are to follow in the future. And respect comes by default, for anyone you admire and are inspired by. It's easy to observe how funnily the Indian society evolves, the reasons behind traditions and values get sloshed out, but just the "acts" remain.
It's arguable though that this is how the society has been running all this while and that things have been pretty smooth. Here's the catch- The class of women who are having to bear these have suddenly become well-educated, independent and full of their own opinions. Alas!
Who's to be blamed for all the mess? The parents who called their daughters "sons", the same parents who made sure their daughters came out in flying colors by sacrificing all their life's savings into education, the society that put pressure on these parents for an arrangement of marriage to save their noses, evolution of society, or the girl herself for not being aware of the realities? Drop your comments if you have an answer.
I still don't know what's correct, but this sure does not feel right. So I hope it just takes some courage to find your way out of the patriarchy and not a whole lifetime. This might not be the best of times to be born as a woman (speaking only for India), but let's stand up for ourselves to create better times for tomorrow. Because dear men can continue to enjoy dominating and never understand the pinch of just being born of the opposite sex.
We are all learning, but we need to learn to live better.
P.S. No offense to the men who empathize. For the rest, you're welcome to take it.
I now see these activists have a point. I now realize the plight of women who are the ones facilitating their family's lives and still long for respect and attention. Not underestimating the financial support men provide, but all of us know what equality means. I now also see a point with female genocide, as I have come to believe that everything happens for a good reason. It might be a good idea to be dead before you could start dying while living. To pause misguiding you, I haven't even been closely associated with any of those plights, but I'm just more aware now of the mountains after having trekked smaller rocks. I've recently been introduced to variations of the same society who call themselves modern, only because they have educated their kids, but still follow old school. They might have educated their girls too, but hell does that make a difference in the duties and behaviors these girls are expected of! So while they might still not expect their daughter in-laws to mask their faces (pun intended), they definitely want them to respect patriarchy, shut their voices in front of elder men (and women), take permission for mundane things which they'd have otherwise been free to do, revolutionize the way they can possibly treat their new "family" (so as to earn the highest podium in their frog wells), forget they ever belonged to another family and persist on all the humiliation to their own family, and overall simply tolerate all nuisance because they are "elders".
That brings us to another point of respecting elders. There might have been a good reason for introducing such a value. Elders might have held more knowledge and experience of a similar scheme of things that you are to follow in the future. And respect comes by default, for anyone you admire and are inspired by. It's easy to observe how funnily the Indian society evolves, the reasons behind traditions and values get sloshed out, but just the "acts" remain.
It's arguable though that this is how the society has been running all this while and that things have been pretty smooth. Here's the catch- The class of women who are having to bear these have suddenly become well-educated, independent and full of their own opinions. Alas!
Who's to be blamed for all the mess? The parents who called their daughters "sons", the same parents who made sure their daughters came out in flying colors by sacrificing all their life's savings into education, the society that put pressure on these parents for an arrangement of marriage to save their noses, evolution of society, or the girl herself for not being aware of the realities? Drop your comments if you have an answer.
I still don't know what's correct, but this sure does not feel right. So I hope it just takes some courage to find your way out of the patriarchy and not a whole lifetime. This might not be the best of times to be born as a woman (speaking only for India), but let's stand up for ourselves to create better times for tomorrow. Because dear men can continue to enjoy dominating and never understand the pinch of just being born of the opposite sex.
We are all learning, but we need to learn to live better.
P.S. No offense to the men who empathize. For the rest, you're welcome to take it.
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